Fashion Friday: Oscar No No's

So listen, we don't like to be mean and say nasty things... Well, sometimes we do.. but that usually involves too much to wine and watching some incarnation of "The Housewives of Some-god-awful-place-or-another". But it isn't like we sit around being all "Heathers" about it or anything.... The cold truth is, we sat with these dresses for almost a week now.... And they are unforgivable. Truly.

Zoe Saldana... You should be ashamed of yourself. You are WAY too pretty and too stylish to be wearing a baggy flamenco dress to your first big Academy Awards show.

We want to know who dressed you that night... Who let you leave the house in that and told you. "Gosh you look great, that dress is fantastic on you!" Because that person needs to be fired.

Keep your makeup and hair people because from the neck up you look delicious.

Speaking of delicious, Mr. Clooney is looking as delicious as ever in his classic tux and his sexy silver hair.... His date *Insert name of current sexy late 20's brunette here* on the other hand is topping off our shit list for wearing the same dress she wore to her senior prom in 1999.

We are sooo glad she had that matching stole made, otherwise she would have just been freezing!

Ummmm... Mariah Carrey, what can we say...

You are just wrong on SO many levels. We would love to say we know you are better then this, but it would be a lie.

The only reason we are gonna forgive Faith Hill for wearing this hot-mess of a dress is because we saw a pre-show interview with her and she was totally shit-faced drunk! Really! It was amazing!

So we like to pretend that she was getting ready at home and hitting the bubbly with her beauty team, when they all got a little too drunk and forgot to put on her real dress over her slip! Then in the Limo, Tim McGraw was like "Honey I think you forgot your dress" and Faith was all "Oh... Woops! Fuck it! Baby you gotta try sticking your head out of the limo's moon roof?! It's awesome y'all!"

See, all's forgiven!

So there is this great quote from Andy Warhol that we love, it goes something like...

Every time you see someone in a horrible outfit, you have to think at one point in time they stood in a dressing room in front of the mirror and thought, This is it!

Oh Beautiful Vera Farminga... We know where you were headed with this one, The color is really flattering and we heart ruffles too... Who are we to say? Maybe you and Zoe Saldana were going to have a Lambada dance off back stage? Maybe you guys just wore your costumes from A new movie you are working on... "The Forbidden Dance; Part 2"?

At first glance you may see the beautiful and talented Penelope Cruz and think... Are the TWH gals crazy? She look perfectly fine, she looks perfectly nice, she looks perfectly boring....

Seriously, this girl has the world at her finger tips she must have had about 20-50

dresses to choose from and she dialed it in. We expect way more from her... So she made the list.

But at least she wore a dress, poor J.Lo has hit such hard times, she just grabbed a bunch of bubble wrap and fashioned it into a dress on her way out the door.

It is amazing how strong they are making the bubble wrap these days, and the Lopez/Anthony home must have gotten a big delivery that day because Jennifer even had enough to share with her new friend,

Amanda Seyfried! Can't you just see the Thank God for J.Lo look in her eyes?

So there you have it people... It was like a fashion-shit-talking purge!

Eww, we feel a little gross now.

XOXO- Things-We-Heart

OSCAR SPECIAL!!!

Number one with a bullet.... While enjoying our bottle of pink champagne last night, Miss twh & Miss Me went over the beauties of the red carpet...

#1

We fell in love, love love, all over again with Diane Kruger.

Oh this Chanel dress! That hair! Her makeup! Wait... She did her makeup herself!

Oh that dress again! Number one, hands down our top look of the night.

So stylish and daring and stand alone. We love it.

As we got to the bottom of the champagne bottle... Things became a little more fuzzy. But if I do recall, the rest of the list follows in roughly this order.

#2

The pure and simple beauty of Rachel McAdams. Super clean makeup and a beautiful watercolored Elie Saab dress.

A messy bun and a beautiful dress on a beautiful girl... It is hard to go wrong.

#3

New baby girl star on the block... Carey Mulligan

Looked fantastic with her blonde pixie haircut and her beautiful and fucked up Prada dress.

When you look close the dress has little forks, spoons and knives hanging all over the bodice. Very young and punk for such a class dress.

(Dear Carey.. We are not sure about the shoes... But since it is your first time at the ball we are gonna give you a pass.)

#4

Wait a second... Is that a genuine smile playing it's way across Kristen Stewart's lips?

Well, she should be smiling because the surly young star is looking very lovely indeed in her navy blue Monique Lhuillier strapless gown.

Nicely done Kristen, what a nice surprise. We could have stood for a bright pair of coral earrings or a giant jade cocktail ring... But we get the zero jewelry look.

#5

Now this may be a mess up on my part...

S.J.P was most likely meant to be somewhere around number 3 on this list... But give us a break we are having a slow morning.

In any case... We were both major fans of this fantastic magic trick of a dress.

Oh Chanel... You do it to us every time... Palest yellow, fantastic grey detail and feats of design construction acrobatics.

(S.J.P- We heart you and we heart a messy bun.. But your fly aways are a little extreme...)

#6

You know when you see ladies at the Oscars who look like they may be headed to a senior prom right after he ceremony... Or maybe they just HAD to get use out of that bridesmaid dress they paid so much for, when they were in cousin Meg's wedding... (Yes, George Clooney we are talking to your date)

Well, for a second we thought that was where Demi Moore was headed with this blush colored Versace... But then we realized that she is Demi Moore and she looks fantastic in anything.

We also noticed the banding detail at the bodice... And you know how much we love the perfectly imperfect look of beautiful dresses that are slightly messy. Perfect earrings too Demi.

#7

We know... We know you guys! We can't believe it either! But you have to give love where it is due... And this dress sent us into cardiac arrest!

The lingerie style bodice... The perfect jewel encrusted hips, and the perfect princess puff skirt without being too puff.

Oh Miley, please try your best to keep on the road that this champagne Jenny Packham dress has set you on.

#8

Sandy, Oh Sandy... Your stunning silver Marchesa gown, toped off with your shining chocolate colored hair and your "Magic Lipstick" bright pink lips made you look like the winner you are.

We are so super happy for you Sandra. You are fantastic and deserving.

Sooo, what was that only 8? hmmm We promised 10. But We picked our faves and it only came to 8. Let us know who you loved in the comments section... Maybe we will agree, or maybe we owe you a top 5 worst from the Oscars?

Hmmmm. Coming soon.

XOXO- Things-We-Heart